征集：简短 简单 的英语笑话

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads,see how the farms looked,and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard holding a pig up in his hands,andlifting it so that pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer,"I see that your pig likes apples,butisn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied,"what's time to a pig?"
一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子.这为城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果.城里人对农夫说:"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说:"时间对猪有什么意义?"

1.How Old Is She?
A woman was having some trouble with her heart, so she went to see the doctor.He was a new doctor, and did not know her. so he first asked some questions, and one of them was , "How old are you?"
"Well," she answered, "I don't remember. doctor, but I will try to think." She thought for a minute and then said, "Yes. I remember now, doctor! When I married, I was eighteen years old, and my husband was thirty. Now my husband is sixty, I know. And that is twice thirty. So I am twice eighteen. That is thirty-six, isn't it?"

2.How Did You lose Your Way?
Mrs Brown's old grandfather lived with her and her husband. Every morning he went for a walk in the park and came home at half past twelve for his lunch.
But one morning a police car stopped outside Mrs Brown's house at twelve o'clock, and two policemen helped Mr Brown to get out. One of them said to Mrs Brown, "The poor old gentleman lost his way in the park and telephoned to us for help, so we sent a car to bring him home. " Mrs Brown was very surprised, but she thanked the policemen and they left.
"But, Grandfather, " she then said , "you have been to that
park nearly every day for twenty years. How did you lose your way there?"
The old man smiled ,closed one eye and said, "I didn't
quite lose my way. I just got tired and I didn't want to walk home ! "

3.Small frying-pan
One morning a man was crossing a narrow bridge when he saw a fisherman on the shady bank of the deep, smooth river under him,so he stopped to watch him quietly.
After a few minutes, the fisherman pulled his line in. There was a big, fat fish at the end of it.
The fisherman took it off the hook and threw it back into the water. Then he put his hook and line in again. After a few more minutes he caught another big fisb. Again he threw it back into the river. Then, the third time, he caught a small fish. He put it into his basket and started to get ready to go. The man on the bridge was very surprised, so he spoke to the fisherman. He said, "Why did you throw those beautiful, big fish back into the water and keep only that small one?"
The fisherman looked up and answered, "Small frying-pan. "

Grandma and her five-year-old Grandson
Grandma:What's one and two?
Grandson:Three.
Grandma:Great!You can get three candies.
Grandson:If I know this early,I should have said "five".
奶奶和五岁的孙子
奶奶:1加2等于几?
孙子:等于3。
奶奶：好！你可以得到三块糖。
孙子：早知道到这样，我早该说“等于5”了！

http://study.feloo.com/Article/happy/happy/Index.html
很多,自己看吧,满简单的

看不懂℃ 晕~~~